We all have them: thoughts, beliefs that are holding us back. That, instead of helping us evolve and improve, they are a hindrance.
They are not helpful at all, yet we do believe in them, and, as far as I’ve noticed in all these years of being both a mum and an entrepreneur, most of the time they’re the only obstacle standing in our way. The only thing that’s helping mums take that leap of faith and start their own business.
I really believe we MUST have a debate on limiting beliefs because they are basically shaping our reality.
Do you think your life is chaos? It most probably is.
Do you believe you’re super-capable of achieving even the impossible? Yes, that is also true.
Are you a good mum? Of course, you are.
Are you a bad mum? Most definitely yes.
My point is this: everything you believe about yourself and your life becomes your reality.
Tell yourself the same thing over and over again and it will become your mantra. It’ll be like your personal bubble which you can’t escape from.
For instance, for a very long time, I used to tell myself “Oh, look at me, I am a walking chaos!” Just like that! Whenever I would hit a challenge or had more than two tasks in a day, I would repeat the same, old record “I am so chaotic, I can’t handle this.” At some point, I even ended up rescheduling my orders and letting my customers down because, indeed, my schedule & my life, in general, were topsy-turvy.
But, yes, as you might have guessed – it was just an old, limiting belief.
In fact, I had the same 24 hours/day as you do – it just hasn’t crossed my mind that I might as well organise my time in a much more effective way. That way, I could have squeezed in all my priorities and I wouldn’t have disappointed others and, most importantly, myself.
The limiting beliefs are drawing a version of you that doesn’t exist
I need to constantly do the inner work and rewire my brain. I changed the wording, so now the voice in my head only tells me that “I can do everything!”
So, why am I saying that these beliefs are holding you back from reaching your potential? Because they draw a version of you that doesn’t exist. It’s a version you’ve become so used to seeing, a role you played so many times, that it does look like… YOU.
But I bet these beliefs come from others! Most of the time, they’re inherited from our parents.
Look, for my birthday this year, when I turned 30, I bought the book “Millionaire Success Habits” by Dean Graziosi as a gift for myself. And I couldn’t have made a better choice! I needed to know that there is nothing wrong with me, that it’s actually a story that’s oftentimes inherited. And we need to dig deep inside ourselves to see where they’re coming from.
Let’s carry on with the example of the chaotic version of myself.
“I have such a messy mind, I can’t function otherwise” – this is something I used to tell myself ALL the time. And, of course, part of it is true, because it’s just my personality. But, doing the work and rummaging through memories from my old, old past, I realised it was also a belief I took over from my mum. My mum is an incredible human being and she is the best mum in the Universe – as I’m sure each and every one of us says about our own mums.
But, God, was she disorganised! She was all over the place. Now, I know for sure that she must have had a plan, but, being a kid, I only saw the chaos from the surface. She was either ironing, cooking, running to work, arguing with dad, attending parent meetings at my brother’s school, taking me to school, and so on. Her days were a big whirl.
I have turned this into my defence mechanism
And, somehow, I have turned this into my defense mechanism. I just kept on telling myself that I am chaotic, so I have an excuse. I carried on like this.
Of course, my twenties were full of ups and downs and I had many success stories to tell, but, I swear, entrepreneurship is a whole different kettle of fish. There is no boss to tell you what to do – you’re wearing all the hats in the beginning and, if you’re not organised, you risk becoming overwhelmed quite rapidly. It has happened to me too, that’s how I knew I needed to change something.
Now going back to the limiting beliefs, here are some of the most recurring beliefs mumpreneurs keep on having:
- I am not good enough for this!
- I still need another qualification.
- Oh, there are already 1000 entrepreneurs out there doing the same thing. I will never be successful (talking about comparisonitis! We’ll debate this topic later on, I promise).
- I don’t have time to deal with a business, my kids are already demanding enough!
- I am so disorganised, I couldn’t handle a business.
- I am not good at finances, I think I’ll go bankrupt in my first month.
- I don’t speak (insert language here) to perfection, so I can’t do this.
- Nobody supports my ideas!
And we can go on and on. This list is endless.
What I would want you to really understand is that you can change your beliefs anytime. You can start NOW if you want. You can step out of the negative thinking and into positive thinking. I mean, let’s get creative for a bit: imagine it’s 1 or even 5 years from now. How would your life look like if you continue to linger on these thoughts and beliefs that don’t do you any service?
Now imagine how it would look like if you made that switch – from negative to positive? If, instead of telling yourself “I am not good enough”, you say “I am extraordinarily good at…”?
Isn’t it a great shift in the way you see your life?
So, what are the limiting beliefs that are holding YOU back?
Until next time,